ADHD COACHING FOR TEENS
​​Think what a relief it would be to have someone on your team who just really 'got' your teen. To whom the struggles you and they are having, that others say make no sense, made total sense. Who could find a positive way in, with real possibility to build on, from any starting point. Who could help them truly see their own strengths, identify who they want to be and how to move toward that. This is what I do!
If you want to see what it feels like when your unique ADHD teen is understood, book a free discovery call - I can't wait to meet you! ​​​
If you'd ​like to read a bit generally about the type of thing that brings teens to coaching before you book a chat about what you hope coaching could do for your teen, and the sort of approach I take, read on!
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Ok, so I probably shouldn't have been climbing on that wall in the photo on my homepage. I probably should have respected that an old monument is fragile, and valuable, and deserves careful treatment. ​Sometimes, I can agree - after the fact - that I really shouldn't - I've just done it before thinking, because you drew my attention to the fact I could do it by saying "don't do it!"​
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But sometimes, 'should(n't)s' are lazy and unimaginative - and untrue! these 'fake should(n't)s' assume everyone is the same, and therefore there is one 'right' way to do things. If your teen is not 'the same' (who'd want to be?!), then trying to be 'the same' could be limiting, perhaps even harmful.
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...and have you noticed that when your teen comes up against an unwelcome 'should(n't)', it can really bring out those BIG EMOTIONS they can find so tough to regulate?
When your ADHD teen tries to do things the one right way that everyone 'should' do them, it can close off their awareness of how a particular activity, type of learning, or behaviour actually works for them and leave them 'failing' at doing it 'the right way' - a way that doesn't work for them. An internal story can begin to grow from the seed 'there is something wrong with me'. That seed grows fast, and puts down long roots, when it's watered by 'should(n't)s'.
For example, if I still listened without question to every should, and every shouldn't, I would have learned throughout school to accept that standing up while working, leaving my desk, moving about in the middle of working and making noise were wrong. Even now as an adult, I would try really hard to sit still and quietly at my desk at work, because that's how it should be done, resulting in me losing focus, feeling restless and agitated, getting exhausted without being productive and judging myself harshly on this 'poor performance'. Instead, I use a standing desk and under desk treadmill, sometimes listening to music or binaural beats, sometimes talking or singing, and I get stuff DONE. I give myself some grace when I don't get so much done, and try to move from judgement to curiousity about what else I needed that was missing - what can I try changing next time?
Are the implied 'should(n't)s' in your teen's life blocking them from understanding and exploring what supports them being their best (and why)?
What would become possible if they could really understand their ADHD and how to work with it? Could they build this understanding into effective homework and revision routines and smoother relationships? Can we (you, your teen, me as their coach) work with their teachers too, to see what may be possible in class?
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Do you want to help your teen understand their ADHD so they can tell the difference between a 'real should(n't)' which aligns with their best interests, and a 'fake should(n't)' which restricts them and prevents them from accessing their strengths?
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Do you want them to find their own unique ways of acting on a 'real should(n't)' by shifting the motivation away from importance and duty and into interest and creativity?
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Do you want to help them learn to notice 'fake should(n't)s' and respond to this flexibly, calmly and productively, so they can access their own unique ways of doing things?
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Do you want your teen to learn to work with their ADHD to develop their own tools and strategies to notice and change things, when they are falling into a behaviour they know causes them trouble, which they want to change?
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Do you want to see them become more aware of their strengths and learn to lean into, and create, opportunities to express them?
Would you like to understand how you can advocate for your teen so they get what they need from their teachers?
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Would you like to see your teen more aware of and able to regulate their BIG EMOTIONS, including angry outbursts, low self confidence, difficulty letting go of things, perceiving criticism very painfully as very negative even when this was not the intention?​​
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If much of that is all just one big YES for you, let's chat!​​​​​​
ADHD COACHING FOR ADULTs
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Having been diagnosed as an adult myself, after years of not understanding how ADHD affects me, I know what it's like for adults who are:
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questioning whether they may have undiagnosed ADHD and perhaps even experiencing an anxious wait for an ADHD diagnosis, and despite being pretty darn sure they have ADHD, feeling terrified the specialist will say "no, you don't have ADHD - you're just a bit messy/scattered/lazy/ineffectual".
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newly diagnosed and thinking "ohhhhhh that (and that, and that) makes so much sense now!"
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realising that experiences they thought were universal were unique to them all along - which can be a lonely place, but also one where really powerful understanding can be discovered about your personal ADHD profile and how to harness its strengths.
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experiencing a kind of grief process for all that time when they (and those around them) didn't understand their ADHD. How different could school / work / relationships have looked like if this understanding had been there at the time?
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truly hearing for the first time just how powerful a voice their inner critic has become.
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wondering whether it's possible to rein in these very big emotions, or break out of ruminations that can hijack everything; knowing rationally that things may not be so bad, but feeling them so overpoweringly.
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wondering "what the heck now?!"
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curious to know more about how ADHD affects them and why.
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motivated to make some changes, but unsure how to go about it.
Coaching with me is a thinking partnership that can help you recognise and lean into your strengths, discover tools and strategies to overcome ADHD challenges that work for you, and learn how you and your ADHD can work together as the most unstoppable, incredible team. Think what will become possible when you can do things more easily, more enjoyably and more effectively - your way!
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My own ADHD strengths include curiosity, bravery, humour and creativity: there is nothing you can bring that I will be afraid to try to help you navigate; I will naturally seek to really get down into the detail of how that issue shows up for you and why; I will likely come at it from new and inspiring angles that help prompt your own creativity in response - and without taking away from the fact that this is all serious stuff, a dose of humour should keep it refreshingly light when needed.
Book a discovery call today to ask any questions you have about coaching and to see whether you feel we could work well together.